Noukadubi (Kashmakash)

Director           Rituparno Ghosh

Cast                 Raima Sen, Riya Sen, Jisshu Sengupta, Prosenjit Chatterjee

Year                2011

Genre              Drama

I am thoroughly convinced that Rabindranath Tagore was awarded his nobel prize for literature not just because of his quality of writing but because of his immense capability to think about situations that mere mortals like us cannot.  He then make us feel even closer to being just “mere” by weaving a story that is a myriad of complicated emotions way beyond our comprehension. And what probably makes us feel so regular is that we understand what he writes and are able to relate to it in a manner that no one else can probably get us to.  Noukadubi is one of Gurudev’s 8 novels and if the movie is remotely close to the novel (I have made a mental note to try and pick this up) then I am certain it will be an excellent read. But then again, who are we but mere mortals to shower praise on the likes of THE Thakur.  A pity I have only seen his works translated into movies and not read his works – maybe it would be beyond my understanding.

In the same breath as I am elated to have come across a story like Noukadubi, I was also extremely disappointed to realize that Kashmakash is a version dubbed in Hindi. As of now, I am as convinced about Gurudev’s greatness as I am about Subhash Ghai’s senility.  Dear Mr. Ghai – you have tried to entertain us for nearly 5 decades now.  It is time that you take a break.  You seriously need that.  How else would you explain the crappy dubbing of a movie that can be seen at worst case with sub titles.  The finer nuances of Bengali can never be emulated by any other language.  Now I am a Tam Bram Iyer boy born and bought up in Mumbai city but who genuinely believes that he should have been Bong.  Mind you I can only understand the language and have never made an effort to speak it (regrettably) and yet, I felt the job was extremely shoddy.  Much as I am a Gulzar fan, I thought the lyrics were just not in place to substitute to Tagore’s melody and sweetness.  Please to be watching subtitled Bengali version not dubbed Hindi version. 

Raima Sen as always has landed a plumb role with that of Hem-Nalini and is as composed and calm as she always is.  I would guess this is the 2^nd movie that the sisters are acting together and I still believe that Riya Sen has miles to go before she sleeps.  Some of the reviews call out her performance as commendable, but I was not too impressed.  If speaking under your breath through your teeth as if you would hurt someone if you spoke louder is a great performance then maybe yes.  Then again, I haven’t read the book so I guess I would not be in a position to interpret how the vastly over rated Rituparno Ghosh has.  I have no clue to whats the big deal about this guy. He makes movies that are so damn slow that one could snooze in between 2 dialogues or even 2 frames and probably nothing would have moved anywhere.  In this one, even the way everyone walks is like life in slow motion.  A bit over the top I say.  Jisshu Sengupta as Ramesh Babu and Prosenjit Chatterjee as Nalinaksha Chattopadhyay both provide solid performances.  But then again, Noukadubi is not about acting or direction. It is the capability of the Thakur to weave a story around the complex emotions that 5 human beings go through in their day to day lives through marriage, friendship, love, parenthood and so on.  7 on 10 purely because of Rabindranath Tagore’s brilliant story writing capabilities.  Thank You so very much Gurudev… and yes…belated 150^th birthday!!!

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXBHnbzhCYA

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VERMICELLI UPPUMA (SEMIA UPPUMA)

VERMICELLI UPPUMA (SEMIA UPPUMA)

Its vacation time here in Singapore. Here is a special snack that kids and adults will enjoy. It is nutritious too. Vermicelli is made from semolina, It’s a much healthier option compared to the All purpose flour noodles that kids like to eat these days. Because it appears like noodles, kids absolutely love this dish. You can add vegetables and make it too. I have just showcased the traditional south Indian style of preparation that I learnt from my friend’s mother which was so delightful that it remained etched in my memory forever.

Ingredients

Vermicelli – 2 cups

Onions – 1

Green chillies – 2

Ginger – a small piece

Curry Leaves – A sprig

Oil - 1 tbsp

Mustard seeds – ½ tsp

Cumin seeds – ½ tsp

Chana dal (Bengal Gram) – 1tsp

Curry leaves – A sprig

Asafetida (hing) - a pinch

Freshly grated coconut – 2 tbsps

Salt as per taste

Method

In a wok, add 2 tablespoons of oil, Now add the mustard, cumin and Bengal gram, when the mustard starts to crackle and the Bengal gram turns a light golden, add Green chillies, grated ginger, curry leaves and asafetida. Fry till the chilly becomes a light green, now add the onions and fry until transparent. Now add 2 cups of vermicelli, add salt as per taste and roast it along with all the ingredients until the vermicelli is a light pink in color. Ensure that it doesn’t get black, you have to stand and monitor this and keep sautéing. When you see the vermicelli become a light pink in color, add steaming hot water till you see the vermicelli immersed. The water shouldn’t drown it completely otherwise the vermicelli will become soggy and sticky. Now just mix everything well and cover the wok with a lid and keep the gas on sim (low flame).

After 5 minutes open and check, give it a good stir and close the lid again. After another 5 minutes you will notice that the Semolina has absorbed all the water and is looking transparent and fluffy, give it one more stir and add the 2 tablespoons of freshly grated coconut, stir and cook covered for 2 minutes, after this put off the gas and let the vermicelli rest with the lid on the wok for about 5 minutes so that all the flavors can be absorbed in. Then open the lid and serve hot. Kids love this uppuma.

Tip : You can add in Cashews while seasoning, if you want.

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Risk of delaying financial decisions

Is lack of time making you go crazy in your attempt to plan your finance?

Balaji is working for an MNC. Today he has got a deadline for a particular assignment. His day is fully packed. First thing in the morning, he receives a mail from his HR Dept stating that today is the last date for producing proofs for tax saving investments; otherwise a huge amount will be deducted from his salary as tax. He wanted to do some tax saving investments urgently and submit the proof on or before end of the day.

Mahesh is an NRI, working for a software company in US. He has got a couple of crores in his overseas fixed deposits giving a return of 1.50% p.a. Returns are taxable. At times, he thinks that the return what he getting is very low. He wanted to check up with a professional financial planner in India. He thinks he will contact as soon as his present project gets completed. Like this he has not contacted any financial consultant for the last 3years because of some reason or the other.

Most of the investment decisions are either taken because of some compulsion or urgency or postponed because of compulsion or urgency in some other area of life. This is because we want to complete the urgent thing first not the most important thing. Many important things that contribute to our overall financial objectives and give richness don’t tend to give any pressure on us. Though they may not be urgent, they are the things that we must give importance and carry out immediately.

We act upon things like pressing problems, deadline-driven projects, and official meetings. We don’t give importance to

• prepare for a meeting with a financial planner; appraising a financial planner before making investments;

• planning activities like budgeting, children’s future planning, retirement planning;

• protective activities like taking a term insurance, house holder policy, health insurance;

• empowering ourselves by upgrading our knowledge with reference to investments
Why we are not able spend time on important things and spend most of our time on urgent things? Because, we are following a way that focuses on how fast or efficiently we are getting things done. We are not following a way that focuses on why we are doing things.

Take the case of Mr.Balaji. Why didn’t he do his tax planning during the beginning of the financial year itself? Why is he chasing at the last minute? Balaji is much worried about his deadline for assignment than tax planning. As he is making investment urgently, it is difficult for him to choose the right financial advisor and also difficult to judge which one would be the best tax saving option for him. He will be investing with an advisor who can get the investment proof on the same day.

Is this the basis on which we select an investment advisor? Will the relationship of Mahesh and this advisor be a long term one? Will this investment is going to be of any help to Balaji in meeting the higher education expenses of his son after 15 years?

Coming to the case of Mr. Mahesh, he had couple of crores at 1.5% pre-tax return. He could have tripled his returns by investing in an Indian liquid fund which is very safe. There are far better investment options available for him to choose. But he has settled for 1.5%.

If he could have spent a day or two in carefully choosing the right financial advisor and investment product he could have earned more. The earning opportunity which he missed with his investments might equal to his 6 months or 1 year salary.

He could have generated that passive income equivalent to 6 month or 1 year salary without any pressure from the top management; without meeting any deadlines by just spending a day or two.

We are all working hard for money. Is our hard earned money is working for us or lying in our SB a/c or really growing?

We find a ladder and see there are so many people trying to reach the top of the ladder faster. Then we also follow the group, deadlines to be met in each and every step; focusing more on reaching the top and finally reached the top. Only after reaching the top, we realize that we have come to a very wrong place or a place which is not worth missing so many things and opportunities in life. This is how the today’s world is.

Nothing wrong in working harder or focusing more on completing the assignment or spending more time on finishing the project on deadline. These are all good thing to do. But always remember, there are better and best things to do. We keep too many good things ahead of a few best things.

Setting up financial goals; working out a plan for achieving those goals; and implementing those plans are all best things to do in life. You know in advance where you want to reach exactly, by doing this exercise. As we progress, we enjoy the journey. As we reach the place, we really feel happy and we have not missed any important thing on the way.

Procrastination and not giving priority to financial goals and investment plans are costliest mistake one can take. So let us stop procrastinating and give priority to our financial goal setting and investment planning. Then life will be really so beautiful.

The author is Ramalingam K, an MBA (Finance) and Certified Financial Planner. He is the Founder and Director of Holistic Investment Planners (http://www.holisticinvestment.in/) a firm that offers Financial Planning and Wealth Management. He can be reached at ramalingam@holisticinvestment.in

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Pyaar Ka Punchnama

Director           Luv Ranjan

Cast                 Raayo Bakhirta, Nushrat Bharucha, Sonalli Sehgal, Divyendu Sharma, Ishitta Sharma, Kartikeya Tiwari

Year                2011

Genre              RomCom

Now this one is going to be really difficult to write for the likes of me.  Not because it is borderline case between a good and a bad movie but more so because this is the story of the mish mashed love lives of the likes of me in around 2.5 hours.  So I cannot help but relate to the concept in entirety and also vouch for the genuinity of the sequence of events shown – I have embarrassingly experienced the same :P :$.  I will, however, keep my critics hat on for the final ratings and that’s a promise.

PKP tracks the story of 3 couples.  Couple 1 – Neha (Nushrat Bharucha) and Rajat (Kartikeya Tiwari) aka Rajjo which is a your regular love story.  Boy meets girl at a Karaoke night.  Makes some slick moves.  Girl gets impressed and asks boy out (that happens???).  Boy and girl quickly fall for each other.  Move in. And then the irritation and the yakking and the reading between the lines and the misinterpretation and the crocodile tears and the hate for sport and the…. You know the story right.

Couple 2 – Not even a couple very honestly.  Charu (Ishitta Sharma) and Ishant (Divyendu Sharma) aka Liquid.  Girl is a newbie at a software company.  Boy has never been with a woman before.  Is nice to her.  Girl is from out of town. She has a possessive boyfriend there.  Boy doesn’t know.  Falls for girl really quick.  Soon enough proposes.  She disposes and informs him about boyfriend.  But would like to “stay friends” (Oh God!!! How many times have I heard that one!!!). Boy doesn’t know what to do.  Girl uses opportunity to keep a stepney in Delhi.  And when push comes to shove, throws boy down the garbage chute…. You have heard this one too right????

Couple 3 – Ria (Sonalli Sehgal) and Vikrant (Raayo Bakhirta) aka Chaudhary.  Smart, good looking guy.  Unassuming. Girl walks upto him at a party.  Both hit it off.  But boy quickly realizes that there is a 5 year relationship break up that has happened.  However, the ex is unable to let go.  And poor girl has to be nice to the ex.  Boy obviously doesn’t like it but keeps mum – cant pick up a fight with the girl because “she needs her space”…. OK OK I know you have heard this one also.

PKP as a concept is a male RomCom which is a welcome change.  Most of the audience in the hall seemed to agree.  And I cant remember ever listening to the girls next to me laughing.  I can only imaging, Luv Ranjan and I have a lot in common in this context :D. But that would not soften my stand against his direction which leaves a whole lot to be desired.  The narration is not remotely tight and survives only on the basis of some slapstick dialogues delivered quite well especially by Divyendu Sharma who comes up with the best performance in the movie.  Raayo Bakhirta is reasonable I guess but only because cannot make out if he is constipated or confident – he has a single expression on his face but he looks the best of the lot and will have some female following after this for sure.  Kartikeya Tiwari hams his way through with the exception of a 5 minute monologue which the audience will like.  The girls cannot act – period.  Despite the use of numerology which doesn’t convert you from a really bad actress to a decent one. For crying out loud they cannot even dance!!!

PKP scores in my books because both the director and cast are debutantes.  Not bad for a first attempt.  Entertaining in parts but quite stretched out – I would have cut at least 30 minutes.  I would give this 5 on 10, and I have added a point only for a decent first attempt and 2-3 songs which are good.  Worth a dekko but can do so on cable or DVD whenever it comes out.  Not worth spending a fortune to take the family out.  The young males would definitely like it. 

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBIrTv-59kw

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404

Director           Prawal Raman

Cast                 Rajvvir Aroraa, Tisca Chopra, Nishikant Kamat, Immaduddin Shah, Satish Kaushik

Year                2011

Genre              Drama

To what lengths would you go, to prove a point? Is proving to the world that your theory is right, only thing that matters to you? Do you believe in something so much that you would not care who comes in the way to ensure that the objective is met? Do you live by the adage – The ends justifies the means? One of two people who embody this spirit are Dr. Anirudh Kaushal (Nishikant Kamat) aka Charles to the dean of Dehradun Institute of Medical Sciences (DIMS) one of the leading institutes of medicine in the country.  The other one is Abhimanyu (Rajvvir Aroraa) who is a first year student of medicine and determined as hell.  Both professor and student are convinced that there is no such thing as the supernatural and that all of it is a figment of one’s imagination.  They are a product of the modern world and believers in science and definitely disbelievers in ghosts, spirits or anything remotely related to them.  And the good doctor’s next thesis is that on Bipolar Disorder – a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition, and mood with or without one or more depressive episodes.  So when Abhimanyu decides to take on the legend on campus about the ghost of Gaurav Gupte which occupies Room 404, the doctor gives him all the support that he can.  Room 404 is opened 3 years after Gaurav committed suicide in it and a brave Abhimanyu moves in.

In what is probably the first attempt to make a movie on bipolar disorder in Bollywood, director Prawal Raman gives us some really scary moments through the lovely use of camera angles.  Just that the use of reflections on windows and cupboards and of course mirrors goes a tad over the top at times.  And so does the use of music.  It seems to be a common fallacy amongst Indian directors that deep resounding eerie music is the only way to generate thrill / fear in the audience.  So much so that they forget that some of the best movies to create horror in the minds of the viewer have used just ambient noise and silence.  But rest assured, Raman has come a fair distance after moving away from mentor Ram Gopal Verma with whom he made Darna Mana Hai and Darna Zaroori Hai.

The movie also touches upon aspects of ragging albeit in a good manner.  I say good because it doesn’t taint the concept hollow. I am of the opinion that ragging is one of the necessary evils of society.  I do not support going over the top but do not object to the healthy poking of fun of freshers into college.  I may have stirred a hornet’s nest here but that wasn’t the intent at all.

I have always maintained that a director’s task is significantly eased out with the right casting.  404 is no different.  Newbie Rajvvir Aroraa delivers a decent first movie.  And Satish Kaushik & Tisca Chopra are both effortless as always.  Immadudddin Shah in the role of the final year student Chris is calm and confident but a tad over the top.  Needless to say, the genes do show.  But a top notch performance from Nishikant Kamat is the hallmark of 404.  The role was initially offered to Farooq Shaikh if the reports on the net are to be believed.  I am sure Kamat is not complaining.

Solid performances coupled with able direction give you a 7 on 10 movie for your Sunday.  Be prepared for a hard hitting end.  Do not take your children along with you.  I was surprised to see 10 year olds in PVR Bangalore. Its definitely not for those below 18.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACTrF8OGQ5k

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Cloth merchant uses Sanskrit as business lingo

3R Garments Shop, at Meenakshi Chowk in Bijapur city is owned by Ram Singh Rajput. He has eight employees, and for the past eight years, they have been using the language for business.

Ram Singh says there is no difficulty in using the language. "After we started using Sanskrit, our customers increased. Most of the customers first want to talk and learn some Sanskrit, then they buy clothes." Inadvertently, it has worked as an advertising gimmick.

Ram Singh is an active member of the Sanskrit Bharati organization. He had learnt Sanskrit at a 10-day camp, and then started using it at home. After that, he introduced it for the first time in his business. He has now done his MA in Sanskrit.

His inspiration is North Karnataka's most powerful seer, Siddeshwar swamiji. On many occasions, the seer has introduced Ram Singh to his followers as the "Sanskrit man and his family", which inspired Singh to learn more.

His younger brothers, Mohan Singh and Vitthal Singh, also work in the shop. All of them speak Sanskrit fluently, though their mother tongue is Hindi.

According to the brothers, Sanskrit is the language of God, and learning it purifies a person's life by reducing bad habits and arrogant behaviour. "We automatically become polite, and good thoughts come to our mind," they say.

Says Mohan Singh: "Our customers believe more in us because of our language. They don't bother to question the price, but pay what we quote because they feel we do not deceive anybody. We too keep their faith."

Following this attraction at Ram Singh's shop, now barbers, kirana shop owners, beauty parlours, cloth merchants and several traders have begun to use Sanskrit as their business language.

Article from the Times of India

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MORU APPAM / KUZHI PANIYARAM (BUTTERMILK FRITTERS)

MORU APPAM / KUZHI PANIYARAM (BUTTERMILK FRITTERS)

This is a snack I absolutely adore, soft and spongy on the inside and crisp and crusty on the outside. This dish gets its name because sour buttermilk (moru) is used in the batter. It is known as Moru Appam in Kerala but in Tamilnadu it is known as Kuzhi Paniyaaram.

One evening when I was pondering over what to make for tiffin (evening snack), I raided my fridge and found a big bowlful of Dosa batter, the batter was slightly sour. Sometimes inspite of refrigerating the dosa batter, it becomes sour. Once, the batter becomes sour the dosa doesn’t taste so good. I thought of putting it to good use by making moru appams. It’s like making the best out of something that would go waste.

Traditionally Moru Appam is made by soaking raw rice and Udad dal in the 3:1 consistency (3cups of raw rice and 1cup Udad dal) just as we do for the dosa batter and then adding on the other ingredients as mentioned below.

I made the Moru Appams with the leftover dosa batter. I would say it is the easier, faster and tastier way to make this dish.

Moru Appams are traditionally made in a vessel called the Appa Kaarai / Paniyaram vessel which has holes in it (like a muffin tray). You drop the oil in the holes and when the oil is hot, you can drop the appam batter into it. But for those who don’t have this vessel, you can deep fry in the frying pan as well.

Ingredients

Left over dosa batter – 12-15 ladleful

Rice flour – 2 tbsps

All purpose flour(Maida) – 1 tbsp

Green chillies - 2 small finely chopped

Ginger - ½ inch piece grated

Toasted Cumin seeds (Jeera) - ½ tsp (Optional)

Asafetida (Hing) – ½ tsp

Curry leaves – 6-7

Fresh Coriander - 1 tbsp

Chopped coconut slices – 2 tsps (Optional)

Buttermilk (Moru) - ½ cup (Optional)

Salt as per taste

Method

In a big bowl, add 15 ladlefuls of left over dosa batter, add the 2 tbsps of rice flour, 1 tbsp of Maida, 2 finely chopped green chillies, ½ inch ginger grated finely, Toasted jeera if you like, ½ tsp of Asafetida, curry leaves 6-7 torn and put into this mix, fresh coriander leaves chopped finely and added to this. I haven’t added the coconut slices to my mix here, but if you like the coconutty flavor go ahead and add it. Add the buttermilk and mix everything into a batter. The consistency should be like the dosa batter. Allow this to rest for about half an hour till the batter soaks in all the flavors added into it.

After this, heat the appa karai with some oil in all the holes, once the oil is nice hot pour the batter to ¾ level of each hole, the oil will be bubbly and frothy, wait for a minute or two and then with the help of a chopstick prick the appam and turn it around so that it can cook it on the other side too. Do this gently with a light hand, else the oil can splash and burn you. When you see that both sides are Golden brown as in the picture, remove them from the appa karai. Then fry the next batch. If needed pour some oil in the holes, wait for it to be heated and fry the next batch.

Enjoy the golden brown Moru Appams, soft inside and crisp and crusty outside with some white coconut chutney

Tips

·        Incase you are using the sour leftover dosa batter then you can skip the sour buttermilk, otherwise, the mor appams will be too sour.

·        Some people add a tablespoon of Maida(all purpose flour) for it to come out non sticky, porous and floating in shape like a ball in the oil but once we put the maida the Mor appams become oily (they soak in more oil). You will have to dab it well in a serviette before serving to remove the excess oil.

·        If you don’t want to put finely chopped green chillies and grated ginger, you can grind them into a paste and add into the batter.

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Haunted 3D

Director           Vikram Bhatt

Cast                 Mimoh Chakraborty, Krishna Bhatt, Tia Bajpai, Achint Kaur, Arif Zakaria  

Year                2011

Genre              Attempted Horror, Comedy

I am at no point of time even considering that I could write anything close to our good friend Niren (onokonomos@gmail.com – refer mail sent last week which had most you in splits) and especially after the trauma that he went through watching Haunted 3D for the first time.  Needless to say, yours truly, did not learn from him but thanks Niren from the bottom of his heart.  Had it not been for Niren, I would definitely have been in some kind of rehabilitation facility in the deepest darkest recesses of Koti (where the movie is set) with very little chance of recovery.  Thank you so very much Niren and of course my dear cousin Vijay for having forwarded the same to me.

I feel for Mimoh… oooops… Mahaakshaya Chakroborthy.  No seriously I do.  How can you blame poor Mimoh for the face that he has which cannot in anyone’s wildest dreams come up with more than half an expression. Little Mimoh… sorry… Mahaaskshaya (will take some getting used to) can put that blame squarely on his parents.  But for the not so familiar with Bollywood, Mahaakshaya (finally got it right) is the son of the evergreen Mithun Chakroborthy and Yogeeta Bali.  So I have come to a simple conclusion.  Mahaaskshaya was adopted.  Sorry Mahaaskhaya – your parents had to hide the truth from you.  I cannot even begin to fathom the pain you are going through on this realization.  But believe me – it would pale in comparison to the pain that we had to go through while watching you on screen.

Rehan (Mahaaskhaya) has come to Koti to broker a deal for a 100 year old house that is expected to sell for over 200 crores and get him 4 crores in the bargain.  But his house helps are set to run off thanks to the spirits that haunt the place.  But Rehan is a brave boy.  He decides to find the truth.  Because Rehan believes only in what he sees and not on hearsay.  He tries to get some info from the landlord who dismisses him. But after briefing the landlord about his educational qualifications he begins his witch hunt which leads him to the story of Meera (Tia Bajpai) who kills her piano teacher Professor Aiyer (Arif Zakaria) when he tries to rape her.  The peeved spirit of Prof. Aiyer then decides to rape Meera till she commits suicide in 7 days.  After that the unsatiated spirit continues to rape her for 80 years till Rehan comes into the picture to save her.

Other than the few things that I learnt through Niren, I have the following learnings / forecasts to submit to all of my readers

1. Mahaakshaya Chakroborthy is an orphan
2. If you really want to help someone who is getting raped in spirit, think really hard about her and u can time travel.
3. Girls dig time travelers and name their sons after those who time travel
4. Use of active and passive voice in the same statement is supposed to create a better impact – For e.g. “Woh Tu Hai! Tu hee hai woh”!!! – refer to Vikram Bhatt for further details on this point
5. Similarly, a Hindi statement followed by the English translation helps communicate better when u are alone in a 100 year old home – For e.g. “Kaun Hai? Who is it”?
6. And lastly, Stanfords applicants from India will see a 100% drop this year unless of course they sue Vikram Bhatt for defamation and ensure that he issues a public disclaimer.
7. PVR 3D glasses are exceptionally heavy.  Please do something about it.
8. LASTLY – VIKRAM BHAT IS A DICK (Sorry Niren – had to add this line.  Hope u will not sue me for agreeing with u)

Final score – 1 on 10 for the intense humour that the movie gets to the table. And sincerest apologies to the members of the audience at the 1 pm show @ PVR Mulund on Sunday, 15^th May 2011 for having disturbed you with my incessant laughter.  Could not help it.  Haunted 3D was way too funny.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlCdTN_vyc8

And read Niren’s review in case you have missed it below this

So in a latest act of misplaced bravado, i watched Vikram Bhatt's Haunted. A Horror film. In 3D. Starring Mimoh Chakrabarty.

Yes, Government of India. I expect my Param Veer Chakra to reach me via courier in no more than 10 working days. Please do the needful.

Also, let me get something else of my chest.

Fuck You Vikram Bhatt. You're a dick.

And, Mimoh finally, like the rest of the country, saw the stupidity and hilarity in his name. So he changed it.

to Mahakshay Chakrabarty. Mahakshay. No, really.  MAHAKSHAY.

He's back with a leaner body, shorter hair and One Whole Entire Facial Expression that he carries like a torch through the film without veering or faltering. I say the boy has a bright future.

He also has some intricate facial hair thingy going on. With his beard. Like it was carved with tiny scissors and precision tools by rajasthani woodwork artisans. Good for you, Mahakshay! I'm glad you're paying attention to all the truly important bits of acting.

Now to get to the film. Haunted, or to call it by it's working title - Vikram Bhatt's Paranormal Rape Fiesta , is about an old house haunted by the spirits of an UberHorny Piano teacher and the girl he raped and still does in the spirit world.

In walks Rehan (Mahamimoh Chakravarty), who's a broker for the house deal. He experiences a couple of nights of extreme haunting. This leaves him completely unfazed. Mahachutia knows no fear! Or well maybe he knows fear, but knows not how to emote! He just walks around the house at night in the midst of screams, piano playing ghosts, doors slamming, books flying off shelves and decapitated heads turning up in bathrooms with a look most reserve to compliment the thought `why does this underwear keep riding up my crack?'

He finally finds a suicide note from the girl talking about her ordeal. About how she bonked the pianoman over the head with a candelabra to avoid getting raped. it killed him. but he came back as a ghost and raped her for a week. till she committed suicide. After which he raped her spirit for 80 years.

Now,

Please dont get me wrong. I don't condone this sort of behavior. It's highly unnatural and very mean to rape someone's soul for nearly a century.

But you gotta give the man props for persistence. That's the kind of resolve and drive that'd put Ranjeet and Shakti Kapoor to shame.

Mahactor tries to save the girl's soul. He's helped by a stoner sadhu. Who, (and this is where shit gets weird), sends him back 80 years in time by blowing chillum smoke on him.

Mahafail is now in 1937 where he tries to prevent Meera (Tia Bajpai) from her impending fate.

The climax follows age old cliches - `tumhe pahadi ke sufi baba ke paas jana hoga' and `tumhe yahaan se bees meel dur ek kuwe mein yah sab daalna padega' ... with the ghost hot on the trail in the form of a Meera's possessed care-taker, Margaret (Achint Kaur).

Tia Bajpai looks heavily sedated and has dialogue delivery skills of an ape. Which is not that bad because most of her lines are , `AAARARRRRRGGHHHHHH.. AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH AAIIIIEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEIIIIIII '

Arif Zakaria as the angry and horny `gotta have me some rape' ghost is menacing. But research says that that's a role most Indian men would be able to portray fairly efficiently.

So, finally this is all that I brought back from the experience -

1) Vikram Bhatt is a dick.

2) Ghosts can't read or write. Apparently, absolute illiteracy sets in once you become part of the spirit world.

3) Evil spirits are strongest at 3 am and weakest at 3pm. If you want to piss on their grave, afternoon would be a good time to do it.

4) Mahabali Chakraborty has a long way to go. But i still like him because I watched Jimmy in a theater with 3 other people a day after it's release. And i'm a sentimental m'f'r.

5) Do not go to a 3D horror film with 3 girls. They will talk all the time and refuse to look up at the screen while staring steadfastly at their cellphones sending BBMs to other women about how scary the film sounds from all the shrieking they're hearing.

Oh and the most enjoyable part of the whole movie?

Definitely the 30 second trailer of Amole Gupte's Stanley ka Dabba that played during the interval.

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Realise your financial dreams with your spouse

In most of the Indian families, the personal finance is something which is not managed by the couples together. It is only one person who manages the personal finance and money management of the whole family. In most of the cases the male partners and in a very few cases the female partners mange personal finance. Only very rarely both of the partners together manage their personal finance aspects.

What would be the outcome in an organisation where the purchase department works totally independent and without any understanding with the finance department of the organisation? Purchase dept may overspend; finance dept will lose control; misunderstanding and conflicts between both the depts; the result is the organization’s growth gets destroyed.

Similarly, if the personal finance is handled by only one partner, then there could be a lot of mismatch between you and your partner in saving and spending pattern. This will lead to misunderstanding and marital stress. Instead of having independent saving and spending plan, having an interdependent plan will help you in managing your money effectively and achieving your financial goals.

You go out for dinner together. You go to the movie together. Why don’t you manage your personal finance together? This will build money compatibility for you and your spouse. Both of you can have a better relationship and understanding with each other.

Why it is so important?

You may wonder why personal finance should be managed by both of the partners. Here are some points to ponder over;


1) In case of Emergency:


Suppose the partner, who is managing personal finance, met with an accident and need to be hospitalized for one month or so, then how does the spouse will run the show?

During the accident, if the partner has missed his wallet which had all the credit cards and debit cards then how does the spouse block those cards before it is misused? Where does she or he find that information?

In case of emergency, nothing will help except the practice of managing the personal finance together.


2) Real Workable Budget:


When you alone prepare the budget for your family, then you can’t expect your spouse to spend according to the budget. If you prepare the budget along with your spouse, he or she will come forward to help you in saving more.

You just try this. Involve your spouse in budgeting and monitoring the spending. You will see the spending coming down day by day and both of you will start spending consciously.


3) Combined Financial Goals:


It is better to identify the goals of your spouse as well as yours and check that is there any goal which is contradictory to the goal of your spouse.

You may want to retire and settle in the same work city. But your spouse may want to settle in the native place.

You may plan to buy a farm house to spend your leisure. But your spouse may be interested in spending her/his leisure at different places like hill stations and other tourism places. For this goal a time share slot with a resort provider may be suitable.

So identifying and settling your difference of opinion regarding the financial goals at the blueprint level is much easier and cheaper, instead of doing it at the execution level.


Overcoming the barriers:


There are some barriers or objections in involving their spouse in managing personal finance. How to overcome that?


1) No Time:

My spouse is not having enough time to look at these things. ‘No time’ is a false excuse. If it is one of your priorities, then definitely it will somehow find its time. Only thing is you have not realized it as one of your priority. Personal finance is definitely a priority item for each and every family because it is going to secure your future.


2) Not interested:

My spouse is not interested in personal finance. Everyone is interested in their own future and their kid’s future. So logically everyone needs to be interested in personal finance. You need to motivate them and make them understand, how this personal finance management is important in achieving their life goals.


3) Doesn’t know:

My spouse doesn’t know about personal finance. No one has born in this world with the skills of money management. We all learned it here. So why don’t you educate him/her on personal finance. Money management is an important life skill. Everyone should know. You want your kids to manage the money better and wiser. Why don’t we educate our spouse first?

Overcoming the barriers in getting your spouse involved in personal finance management and getting them involved will be a life transforming exercise. Don’t miss it. Together you will be able to achieve your life goals easier and sooner.

The author is Ramalingam K, an MBA (Finance) and Certified Financial Planner. He is the Founder and Director of Holistic Investment Planners (http://www.holisticinvestment.in/) a firm that offers Financial Planning and Wealth Management. He can be reached at ramalingam@holisticinvestment.in

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Stanley Ka Dabba

Director           Amol Gupte

Cast                 Partho Numaan, Amole Gupte, Divya Dutta, Divya Jagdale, Rahul Singh, Raj Zutshi,

Year                2011

Genre              Drama

Before all you folks go ahead and read this review, I would like you guys to first SMS “Stanley” to 57827 (India only) to pledge your support against child labour.  Will an insignificant SMS like this make a difference to some child’s life somewhere? I sure hope so.  I would hope that instances have reduced over time but we are far from a level of complete eradication and I can only believe that this small gesture from each one of us may just about impact someone’s life.

Amole Gupte’s official directorial debut (he hasn’t been credited for Taare Zameen Par) takes us into the world of Stanley Fernandes (Partho Numaan), Class 4F from Holy Family School, Andheri East (There are direct references to Chakala and hence the assumption).  Stanley walks into school everyday much before the rest of the world does and spends his time doing anything that keeps him busy – from watching Rosy Teacher (Divya Dutta) being dropped by her fiancée to drumming on the school desk.  Stanley is also a master story teller and creates them on the fly.  Like telling Rosy Madam about how the bruises on his face are because of a fight that he got into to save another kid who was being bullied.

Now Stanley has a peculiarity that differentiates him from the rest of the class.  He doesn’t get a dabba (tiffin box / lunch pack). But his classmates always chip in to share their dabbas instead.  And they also find innovative ways to ensure that he continues getting his share despite the Hindi Teacher, Verma aka Khadoos (Amol Gupte) whose only passion in life is to swoop down people’s dabbas because he doesn’t get his own.  So much so that when push comes to shove and he finally catches up with the kids, he bans Stanley from entering his class till he gets a dabba.

Stanley Ka Dabba is characterized primarily by outstanding performances from everyone in the cast.  Right from the School Principal played by Rahul Singh to the Science Teacher Mrs. Iyer played by Divya Jagdale and even the school peon played by Aditya Lakhia or the History Teacher played by Raj Zutshi in a very small appearance.  Divya Dutta continues to prove that she is one of the most under rated actors in Indian cinema. 

But the piece de resistance has to be – and this is a toughie very honestly – I am not sure who was better Partho Numaan or Amol Gupte.  The softie in everyone would clearly go with Partho Numaan thanks to his amazing screen presence and confidence in front of the camera.  But my vote on this count would go to Amol Gupte for his sheer capability to get under the skin of his character – a despicable Hindi Teacher who will eventually be humbled by a 9 year old child from Class 4F.  I would imagine it is not the easiest task in the world but for Gupte – who by his own admission claims that acting was never on his radar till Vishal Bharadwaj pushed him into Kaminey – would be proud to see the output of his part in SKD.  Pivotal and brilliantly executed.

Add to the brilliant performances, some superb camera work and some very good cuts as well.  Shots such as the kids and teachers both eating to the background of “Tere Andar bhi kahin chhupa baitha hai… Koi Stanley” are wonderfully taken.  There are some random shots as well which could well have been avoided.  That would probably be the only flaw in an otherwise very well made movie.  Oh and yes, the music could have done with some more life.  I would put Stanley Ka Dabba in the must watch list for everyone.  My rating – 7.5 on 10.  And yes – the million dollar answer – TZP is distinctly better on the counts of better editing and better music. 

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fdd9Y166JXY

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The £500 test that tells you how long you'll live

A blood test that can show how fast someone is ageing – and offers the tantalising possibility of estimating how long they have left to live – is to go on sale to the general public in Britain later this year.

Graphic: How the test works

The controversial test measures vital structures on the tips of a person's chromosomes, called telomeres, which scientists believe are one of the most important and accurate indicators of the speed at which a person is ageing.

 

Scientists behind the €500 (£435) test said it will be possible to tell whether a person's "biological age", as measured by the length of their telomeres, is older or younger than their actual chronological age.

Medical researchers believe that telomere testing will become widespread within the next five or 10 years, but there are already some scientists who question its value and whether there should be stronger ethical controls over its wider use. In addition to concerns about how people will react to a test for how "old" they really are, some scientists are worried that telomere testing may be hijacked by unscrupulous organisations trying to peddle unproven anti-ageing remedies and other fake elixirs of life.

The results of the tests might also be of interest to companies offering life-insurance policies or medical cover that depend on a person's lifetime risk of falling seriously ill or dying prematurely. However, there is a growing body of scientific opinion that says testing the length of a person's telomeres could provide vital insights into the risk of dying prematurely from a range of age-related disorders, from cardiovascular disease to Alzheimer's and cancer. "We know that people who are born with shorter telomeres than normal also have a shorter lifespan. We know that shorter telomeres can cause a shorter lifespan," said Maria Blasco of the Spanish National Cancer Research Centre in Madrid, who is the inventor of the new commercial telomere test. "But we don't know whether longer telomeres are going to give you a longer lifespan. That's not really known in humans," she added.

"What is new about this test is that it is very precise. We can detect very small differences in telomere length and it is a very simple and fast technique where many samples can be analysed at the same time. Most importantly, we are able to determine the presence of dangerous telomeres – those that are very short."

Dr Blasco's company, Life Length, is in talks with medical diagnostic companies across Europe, including the UK, to market the test and collect blood samples for analysis in Spain. A deal with a company operating in Britain is likely within a year, she said.

"We need to have a clinical company to send us the blood [samples]. We are in contact with several groups in the UK who are interested," Dr Blasco said.

Life Length is anticipating hundreds of requests from people wanting to have their telomeres tested and is expecting demand from thousands more once the company is able to bring down the cost of the test as public demand increases.

Although Life Length is not the only company selling telomere tests, it is the only one gearing up for over-the-counter sales to the public and the only company with an accurate-enough test to be of practical use, said Professor Jerry Shay of the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Centre in Dallas.

"This test devised by Blasco is so accurate that it is likely to provide more useful information than some of the other tests out there right now," said Professor Shay, who is a scientific consultant for Life Length. "What's important in ageing is the shortest telomeres. What makes cells stop growing is the shortest telomeres, not the average telomere length, which is what other tests look at.

"Everyone talks about the chronological age, but there is also a biological age, and telomere length is actually a pretty good representation of your biological age. Telomeres are important – there is no question of that," he said.

Asked why the general public would be interested in taking a telomere test, Dr Shay said: "I think people are just basically curious about their own mortality. If you ask people what they worry about, most people would say they are worried about dying."

He added: "People might say 'If I know I'm going to die in 10 years I'll spend all my money now', or 'If I'm going to live for 40 more years I'll be more conservative in my lifestyle'. The worrying thing is that if this information ever got to a point where it is believable, insurance companies would start requiring it in terms of insuring people.

"If you smoke or you're obese your insurance rates are higher, and if you have short telomeres your insurance rates might be higher too."

Scientists do not yet believe they can narrow down the test prediction to calculate the exact number of months and years a person has yet to live, but several studies have indicated that individuals with telomeres that shorter than normal are likely to die younger than those with longer telomeres. Telomere research is considered to be one of the most exciting areas in biomedical science and last year the Nobel Prize in medicine was shared between three scientists who are pioneers in the field.

Interestingly, one of the Nobel laureates, Elizabeth Blackburn of the University of California San Francisco, is an enthusiastic proponent of telomere testing while another of the prize-winners, Carol Greider of Harvard Medical School, is more sceptical of its benefits.

"Do I think it's useful to have a bunch of companies offering to measure telomere length so people can find out how old they are? No," Dr Greider recently told the journal Science.

Dr Blasco, a former post-doctoral student in Dr Greider's laboratory, is more certain of the benefits. "It will be useful for you to know your biological age and maybe to change your lifestyle habits if you find you have short telomeres," she said.

 

 

Article from The £400 test that tells you how long you'll live

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Luv Ka The End

Director           Bumpy

Cast                 Shraddha Kapoor, Sreejita De, Riya Bamniyal, Pushtii Shakti, Errol Marks, Meherzan Mazda, Taaha Shah, Mahabanoo Mody-Kotwal, Rahul Pardasany, Jannat Rubair Rahmani, Archana Puran Singh, Shenaz Treasurywala, Micky Makhija

Year                2011

Genre              RomCom

About 20 minutes into the movie, I thought (actually I was convinced) that Luv Ka The End is a rip off of the Jesse Metcalfe, Ashanti starrer from 2006 – John Tucker Must Die.  However, I am as of now not too sure if it is a copy of JTMD or some other movie.  But the plot seems all too familiar for me to ignore the aspect of “inspiration” from Hollywood and sadly – once again.  When will our directors start thinking of something original to work on?

The first time directorial venture of Roadies super star Bumpy is probably quite ironic considering that Roadies is meant to be a very rugged, in your face phenomenon.  Why the famed Bumpy decided to pick up a soppy romantic comedy as his first movie is surprising to say the least.  But then again I guess all men have a soppy side to us and Bumpy is at the end of the day probably only human.  As is the direction that he gets to the table.  But then again who expects any direction in a chick flick right?

Rhea Dayaldas (Shraddha Kapoor) is your cutie pie or girl next door from school.  She is pretty but not hot.  And needless to say extremely intelligent. That she has rich parents only helps even more.  She may not be anywhere close to the high school hottie Natasha (Riya Bamniyal) but is still the girl of choice for the high school boy hottie Luv Nanda (Taaha Shah).  The son of an exporter (read smuggler), Luv has everything that money can buy and loves to show off his toys, the latest of which is a Jag.  But the first ride is reserved for Rhea.

Now Rhea’s friends - Sonia Lovani (Sreejita De) and Jugnoo 'Jugs' Shastri (Pushtii Shakti) – don’t quite approve of this relationship and try their best to keep dissuading her from giving Luv the pleasure of taking her virginity from her.  Its Rhea’s 18^th birthday and she is all set to “do it” tonight.  And its only the persistence of Karthikeyan Ramchandran (Rahul Pardasany) – who coincidentally is smitten by Jugs – that gets the threesome introduced to the BBC – The Billionaire Boys Club.  The BBC is a club of young kids whose parents are all Billionaires and run an annual contest aligned around who has “scored” the most – be it in the form of fooling around with hot teachers or naïve young girls.  Rhea is obviously shocked and decides that today it will be Luv Ka The End.

Chick flick to the core.  Nothing that is terribly exciting in any form whatsoever or anything that you haven’t seen before.  The same old hunky men and hot girls with a fat boy and fat girl thrown in, the high school geek, the daft best friend, the mother of the friend who is over the top, understanding parents, a senile grand mother, a pesky little sister – the list is endless – but life in a RomCom is just perfect.  And this one is no different.  And therefore, I give it 4 on 10.  Not really worth seeing on the big screen.  Disappointing debut for Bumpy.  Not a great second for Shraddha Kapoor – she better start showing some more acting skills coz her dad is not getting her anywhere.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8x5JXJviWt4

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Ragini MMS

Director           Pawan Kripalani

Cast                 Kainaz Motivala, Raj Kumar Yadav, Mangala Ahire,

Year                2011

Genre              Horror

OK now I seriously need to have something different when it comes to horror movies.  And something with at least a little bit of originality.  And a tribute to Paranormal Activity and Blair Witch project presented with a disclaimer that the movie is based on a true story which happened in India doesn’t amount to originality.  It would seem, as the writers claim, that the story is based on what a south Indian girl experienced in the year 2009 somewhere close to Mumbai.  But the stark similarities to the movies mentioned earlier cannot be ignored – no matter how hard you try.  It is indeed time that Indian directors take a long hard look at themselves when they are attempting to make movies under the genre that is supposed to scare the heebeejeebies out of the viewers.  Very honestly, it has been a really long time since I have actually seen a decent horror movie that scares me like the way an Omen did a few decades back or for that matter how Ring did less than a decade back. 

Now I am quite a “fattu” (scaredy cat for those who are unfamiliar with the colloquialism of India) and very honestly, I had forgotten that Ragini MMS was supposed to be a horror movie before I walked into the theatre.  By the time it was too late to change my mind and watch Arthur.  So given a lack of choice, I had to go through the couple of hours of a movie that was more hilarious in parts than the parts in which it was scary.  If you are a really big fan of horror flicks like a few of my friends, you would be a tad disappointed with this one is what I can assure you.  But if you get your kicks from some kind of a gory looking apparition continuously screaming in a guttural voice, “Mein Chudail (Mangala Ahire) nahin hoon.  Maine apne bachche ko nahin maara.  Yeh Mera Ghar Hai.  Mein yahaan se nahin jaane waali hoon.  Aur mein tumhe bhi yahaan se nahin jaane doongi” (I am not a witch.  I did not kill my baby. This is my house. I will not leave it.  And will not let you leave it either) – then Ragini MMS is just the kind of movie for you.  And of course did I mention that there is a decent amount of Soft Porn thrown in to add to the spice. Soft Porn that alternately shows Ragini (Kainaz Motivala) and Uday (Raj Kumar Yadav) in heat and leaves me wondering if women are actually that daft?

Nothing too great in the direction department from first timer Pawan Kripalani.  But then again not too bad either.  There are some scenes that make you jump up and actually scare you.  And coming to the acting department, Kainaz Motivala hasn’t come too far ahead from her previous 2 attempts at Bollywood – Paathshaala and Wake Up Sid.  Yes she has finally got a lead role.  But if anything is going to make an impact from her side as of now, it would be the posters and not her acting skills in anyways.  And it really doesn’t help her at all that her co-star, one Raj Kumar Yadav has done a commendable job to say the least.  That’s the only saving grace of the movie as such.  I don’t think it makes the cut from my end.  3 on 10 is what I say.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0570q7nNxHc

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Learn Photography: Online SLR Camera Simulator!

Isn’t it great that you can learn all modes of SLR camera online and be the expert when you are on the field. Yst you can practice it now at http://camerasim.com/camera-simulator.html

 

 

 

 

Experiment with the lighting, ISO, aperture, shutter, and distance settings while observing the readings in the camera viewfinder

 

Click the "Snap photo!" button

 

Review your photo!

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URULAKAZHANGU KAARA CURRY (MASHED SPICY POTATO CURRY(DRY)

URULAKAZHANGU KAARA CURRY (MASHED SPICY POTATO CURRY(DRY)

This is absolutely on the top of my “Comfort foods” list. This curry can never stop exciting me to have my grub. Hot rice, a small dollop of ghee (thanks to weight watching) mixed with rasam and the hot and spicy urulakazhangu kaara curry, simply lip smackingly awesome.

Urulakazhangu means potato in Tamil, Kaaram means spicy, Curry means a dry curry(it can also mean something with gravy), but this recipe is a dry curry recipe.

On a boring day when you have run out of ideas as to what to cook and feel totally uninspired and feel like nothing could be as laborious and cumbersome like cooking, this would be the dish that would totally cheer you up. Simple, yet delicious. Hardly takes any time to cook. Ready in a jiffy. You can even have this with Yogurt and rice.

Ingredients

Potatoes – 5-6

Red chillies - 1

Red chilly powder – 1 tsp

Coriander powder – 1 tsp

Cumin powder – 1 tsp

Sambhar powder – 1tsp

Pickle Masala(Achar Masala) – 1 tsp

Asafetida – pinch

Salt to taste

Oil – 1 tbsp

Mustard -1 tsp

Cumin – 1 tsp

Curry leaves – a sprig

Coriander leaves for garnish

Method

Wash, boil and peel the potatoes. Mash them and keep it aside. Don’t mash the potatoes into a paste, just crumble them. If you are not good at mashing well, just dice them into chunky cubes. It works both ways.

In a Kadhai (wok), heat some oil add mustard, when the mustard begins to crackle add the cumin and break the red chilly into 2 pieces and let it fry. Keep the gas on sim and then add all the masala powders, asafetida, curry leaves, and salt as per taste and then add the mashed potatoes. Mix well, check for salt, if less add now and mix. While mixing don’t mash the potato just turn it gently. Let this cook for a few minutes.

Garnish with finely chopped coriander leaves. Mix well and serve hot with Poori/ chappati or hot rice and sambhar/rasam/dal

Tips :-

If you don’t get the pickle masala, dry roast, 1 tsp of mustard seeds and 1/4 tsp of fenugreek seeds and grind into a fine powder.

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