Burlesque

Burlesque

Director           Steve Antin

Cast                 Cher, Christina Aguilera, Stanley Tucci, Eric Dane, Cam Gigandet, Peter Gallagher , Kirsten Bell, Julianne Hough, Chelsea Traille, Tanee McCall

Year                2010

Genre              Musical

Spunky is the word that first comes to mind when you watch Burlesque.  First time director Steve Antin (well almost first time since his other video movie didn’t really create waves) gives us an extremely heady mix of jazz put together in a style that can only be described as Coyote Ugly meets Moulin Rouge.  One could choose add a taste of Chicago to it as well but just a dash mind you.  Small town girl aiming to make it to the bright arc lights of Los Angeles.  Spice it up with a couple of affairs.  Add to that 2 of the best voices known to man.  Garnish it with a reasonable story and a feel good ending and voila you have Burlesque.

Alice Rose (the oh so sizzling Christina Aguilera), Ali for short is all starry eyed about song and dance.  She has the voice to make her feel that way.  But she is from Iowa where she works at a local deli.  Fed up with waiting tables – one would automatically be that way if you are not paid for a while – she takes off for LA to do what she really wants to do.  As she is moving from place to place to place she passes by a neon sign that says – Burlesque Lounge.  Intrigued, she walks in to see what it is all about and reluctantly pays the $20 entry fee (she is really short on money right).  And its love at first sight.  She asks the bartender Jack (Cam Gigandet) as to who is in charge and is directed to Tess (Cher).  But Tess doesn’t have the patience to meet some new wannabe starlet and brushes her off.  She sends her to Sean (Stanley Tucci) the arranger who asks her to leave her name and number with Jack again.  Back to square one I guess.

Not willing to give up, Ali uses her charm to get herself a job at Burlesque itself.  Jack is more than willing to accommodate.  At this time, I would like to clarify that Jack is a genuinely nice guy and does not give Ali the job because of the size of her hooters.  A couple of days into the job, Ali comes back to see her house looted.  With nowhere else to go she lands up – no points for guessing – at Jack’s place for help and Jack being the good friend he is, offers her the place for the night.  Till the next morning, Ali thinks Jack is gay but is not too comfortable when she finds out otherwise and that Jack is engaged to be married to Natalie, a struggling actress who spends more time in NY than in LA.  She however stays back because as I said earlier, Jack is a really good guy.

Ali’s efforts to get herself into the main act keep falling flat but her break does come in when one of the dancers, Georgia (Julianne Hough) gets knocked up.  Tess is mighty impressed to see that she has learnt all the dance moves by just being a waitress.  An even big break comes up when the jealous Nikki (Kirsten Bell) decides to pull the DJ plug while Ali is performing.  Not wanting to waste the opportunity, Ali decides to sing and continue with the performance and before you can say Jack Daniels, the show is aligned with her as the star attraction.  All this is however happening with Tess being on the verge of bankruptcy and an aggressive developer, Marcus (Eric Dane) on her back to force her to sell the bar.

If you like all the things that I mentioned earlier in this review then Burlesque is a must must watch.  The soundtrack is a must have too I am definitely going to try and get my hands on it at the earliest.  Cher and Aguilera are both fabulous with their voices although their acting talent can be questioned.  Also, Aguilera can be questioned on her dancing capabilities with most of the supporting cast being much more talented in this aspect.  If, however, you don’t like musicals, then this is definitely not the place to be.  Overall, Burlesque is a well made movie. Not in the class of a Chicago or not remotely as larger than life like Moulin Rouge but an entertainer nevertheless.  6 on 10 is what I would give it.  But watch it on the big screen to feel the experience.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1405094169/

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Dil Toh Baccha Hai Ji

Director           Madhur Bhandarkar

Cast                 Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi, Omi Vaidya, Shazahn Padamsee, Shruti Hassan, Tisca Chopra,  Shradha Das

Year                2011

Genre              Comedy

Madhur Bhandarkar for the first time moves away from his standard formula of a topical movie – Page 3, Fashion, Jail etc.  I have always thought that he is vastly over rated but for some wonderful reason – one of the mysteries of the world – he has always gotten away with it. Probably because he makes movies that just about make the cut.  Movies which appeal to the audience just enough for them to overlook the ridiculous amounts of inconsistencies and gaffes. It was quite amazing to see that even last nite although at a much more muted level. There were enough and more people who actual found the stale humour which was grossly placed actually humourous.  I was taken back to my experience with Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani where I was probably the only person in the hall who wasn’t laughing.  This time, however, I wasn’t alone.  Thankfully.

Naren Ahuja (Ajay Devgn) is an executive in a bank.  He is 38 years old.  He is married to Madhavi (Rituparna Sengupta) who is a news reader.  They have a daughter.  Their 8 year attempt to sustain their marriage has not succeeded. That too by a fair margin.  When things come to an absolute head, they decide to part ways.  Mutual Separation.  She keeps the daughter though.  Not that Naren seems to mind in any manner.  Naren moves out to his parents place (all of this is in Mumbai) – and what a place it is!!!! If I were Naren, I would not have moved out of the place at all. Nevertheless, he now has the tough job of finding a couple of paying guests just to keep the house occupied.  Not good to stay alone after a divorce you see.

In come two drastically different personalities.  Milind Kelkar who works with jhatpatshaadi.com and considers himself to be a modern day poet.  Needless to say he is atrocious at poetry and even more atrocious with women. His luck is about to go worse when he meets Gungun Sarkar (Shradha Das), an RJ with Big FM @ a poetry recital.  He falls head over heels for her and so begins his love story.  The other guy is Abhay aka Abby, lesser of a gym instructor (his day job) and more of a Casanova whose only aim in life seems to be to bed every single woman in the world.  And they all seem to be suckered in; quite comfortably at that.  A monetary constraint gets him thinking and he uses his charm to be the boy toy of ex Miss India Anuskha Narang (Tisca Chopra), the wife of a big time industrialist.  He is the magnetic opposite of Milind.  Where Milind spends all his savings on Gungun and company, Abby gets Anushka to spend money on him. Rounding off the female love interests is June Pinto (Shazahn Padamsee) who joins Naren’s team as an intern and gets him all smitten for her. Not going to reveal the entire point of Shruti Hassan who plays the role of Nikki Narang.  That will retain the bare minimum element of suspense in an otherwise drab movie.

There are only 2 semblances of acting in the movie.  Ajay Devgn in his role of the 38 year old divorcee desperately seeking to impress a girl half his age and the associated embarrassing situations are quite well done.  And Tisca Chopra continues to show the talent and class that can be associated more often with stage actors than others.  Shruti Hassan is confident and much better than her previous outing (Luck) but still doesn’t convince you that she comes from the gene pool of 2 of India’s finest actors.  Shazahn Padamsee should stop acting – IMMEDIATELY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE – go to acting school and come back with some semblance of acting capabilities.  Ditto for Omi Vaidya who I believe is one of the most over rated actors in recent times.  Don’t know what to say about Shradha Das.  Lastly, Emraan Hashmi should stick to Mahesh Bhatt movies with a super sound track that do a fabulous job of hiding his acting skills or should I say the lack of them.

Extremely disappointing effort overall.  This time around Madhur Bhandarkar does not meet his “just about par” formula for success.  Sorry producers.  You are going to lose some money here.  Viewers – please don’t lose yours. 3 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvtFLd6sAMU

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127 Hours

Director           Danny Boyle

Cast                 James Franco, Kate Mara, Amber Tamblyn, Sean Bott, Treat Williams, John Lawrence, Kate Burton, Fenton Quinn, Lizzy Caplan, Clemence Poesy

Year                2010

Genre              Drama

I think I have finally cracked the solution to make really really really big bucks.  One has to do something that is super duper stupid under the pretext of having a “sense of adventure”.  Maybe play with severely poisonous snakes or crocodiles like that guy from down under used to do.  Or follow the footsteps of our protagonist and walk into the Grand Canyon. Alone. And make it a point that you don’t inform anyone – I repeat – don’t mention it to a soul as to where you are headed.  They may just about prevent you from taking a step towards your first zillion. Just ensure that in the bargain you don’t kill yourself.  Someone else will take all the money instead.

Aron Ralston (James Franco) in one adventure crazy dude.  There is no other way I can describe him.  His idea of a great time is to take off on the weekend and explore areas of the Canyon around Utah.  Just random exploration.  And he likes to take challenges that are otherwise not imaginable.  If it has to do with the canyon then he would happily hop onto the band wagon and have a super duper time.  And if he doesn’t have company – who the hell wants it anyways. He is perfectly capable of doing it on his own.

This particular weekend, he does exactly that and heads out to The Great Drop.  A quick drive followed by about 20 kms on his bike and then a bit of a walk and he should be there.  The bible for the Canyon has been written by Blue John (Fenton Quinn) who used to be the right hand man of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Blue John makes a brief appearance in the movie when Aron drops into one of his hallucinations).  Now Blue John says it will take 4.5 hours to get to this spot but our hero would like to do it in under 3:45.  And he seems to be on course.  But en route some distraction of the female kind – Kristi (Kate Mara) and Megan (Amber Tamblyn) – 2 damsels in distress who have lost their way.  Keeping his aim for the record aside (I would if it were him and women looked like either Kristi or Megan), he decides to show the women a good time – which he manages successfully.  Soon enough he finds himself on the way back towards the Great Drop.  But a few minutes later, a large, extremely heavy loose rock also finds its way onto his right hand, rendering our man immobile.  The count down to 127 hours has begun.

Now Aron Ralston is no fool.  After he managed to get himself out (yes that’s the good news) of his mess, he decided to write a book about it. Its aptly titled, “Between a Rock and a Hard Place”.  And in 2010, one of the most over rated directors in the world, Danny Boyle, sees his opportunity to make a few million bucks by making a movie out of this example of rank stupidity.  And what do you know – it gets nominated for a few Oscars as well.  Danny Boyle has this knack of making his movies look and feel much larger than life like he did with Slumdog and The Beach (haven’t seen Trainspotting yet).  Does he deserve an Oscar nomination over Christopher Nolan – definitely not.  Is he going to give the heebeejeebies to his co-nomiated directors? Probably not.  Superb editing has been the hallmark of all movies from Boyle’s table to date and that continiues.  His use of brilliant sound and light is probably responsible for getting the nomination. Coming to the acting part, James Franco’s best performance to date, but it will not be able to push Colin Firth from being the favourite for the Best Actor Award. Rahman’s music is again not his best to date.  Overall an enjoyable movie but not Oscar winner kinds. Above average on all counts but not the best on any.  7 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi768149785/

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The Season of the Witch

Season of the Witch

Director           Dominic Sena

Cast                Nicholas Cage, Ron Perlman, Stephen Campbell Moore, Stephen Graham, Claire Foy, Christopher Lee, Robert Sheehan, Ulrich Thomsen

Year                2011

Genre              Fantasy

All actors have to keep themselves busy.  Some more than the rest.  And Nicholas Cage falls in the former (more) category.  The Season of the Witch is Cage’s desperate attempt to tell the rest of the world that he is still around and still acting.  So what if he is pushing 50 and has acted in over 50 movies in his 30 year career? He released only 2 movies last year as compared to the 4 in ‘09 and 4 in ‘07 (only 1 in ‘08).  And so what if he has 6 other movies on the table that are going to be released over the next 24 months.  Man’s got to act to make money right.  Maybe the bank balance has dwindled too much eh Mr.Cage?

Continuing with the fantasy genre of movies that he left with The Sorcerer’s Apprentice last year, Cage now plays the role of Behmen, a 14^th Century Knight who has enlisted himself in the service of God, to rid the world of all pagans far and wide.  He is a crusader and along with Felson (Ron Perlman) has been responsible for killing hundreds of such outcasts who have sinned.  All of this in the name of the Church.  After a few years of mindless killing, he is severely upset for the first time when one such crusade results in the killing of innocent women and children.  He questions the religious leader of the crusade and on not getting a satisfactory answer decides that he cannot serve the purpose anymore.  He and Felson are now outlaws for defecting and therefore are charged with treason effective immediately.

They manage to survive for a while on their own and finally land up around a hut where they find the owners dead for a reason they will find out soon enough - Plague.  Soon enough, they find themselves in front of a town that Felson wisely recommends that they avoid since they are outlaws.  But they need horses and don’t have a choice but to go into the town to buy some.  No points for guessing that they get caught and presented in front of the cardinal (Christopher Lee) who has himself been struck by the plague.  News is that the church has captured a witch (Claire Foy), who has confessed to being one (Yeah Right!!!) and now needs to transport her to the Monastery @ Severac where Monks will read from the only copy of “The Book of Solomon” that is left and rid her of the witch craft that seemingly has possessed her.

The Season of the Witch is yet another random story about the Devil with special effects thrown in for impact.  Nothing that we have not seen before.  But what is surprising is that it is directed by Dominic Sena who is best known for his slick thrillers of the likes of Swordfish and Gone in 60 seconds.  How he got conned into directing this below average flick is beyond me.  Nicholas Cage is as constipated as ever and Ron Perlman provides him with the support that barely keeps acting alive in the movie.  Claire Foy doesn’t have much to do since most of her expressions are controlled clearly by a computer.  Acting – Lead of supporting – is not the hallmark of this movie.  A bit of interesting SFX and some reasonable fight sequences get this movie to the 4 on 10 mark.  Not going to miss much if you don’t see it though.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3830683929/

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Dhobi Ghat (Mumbai Diaries)

Director           Kiran Rao

Cast                 Aamir Khan, Pratiek Babbar, Monica Dogra, Kriti Malhotra, Danish Hussain, Jehan Manekshaw, Kitu Gidwani, Ashok Varma, Sanjivani Oagle, Babita Sehgal

Year                2011

Genre              Drama

Dhobi Ghat was by far the most awaited movie in this month. And it everything that people expected it to be from the trailers.  If one was disappointed with the end result then I guess we were giving too much credit to the audience.  In a very “Crash meets Bollywood” style of movie making, Kiran Rao gives us the story of 4 people in the city that doesn’t sleep, whose lives are intertwined thanks to various twists of fate if one may call it that.  And she doesn’t do a bad job at all.

Arun (Aamir Khan) is an eccentric painter (that’s redundant right – aren’t all painters eccentric – no offence meant to the painter community).  He shies away from public appearances and doesn’t make an appearance at any of his exhibitions.  Any of them until now.  He lands up at his latest exhibition which is based on Mumbai – his muse, his whore, his beloved – as he proclaims proudly.  As he is getting away from the socializing, he bumps into Shai (Monica Dogra) who is an investment banker from New York on a sabbatical to Mumbai.  Her passion is photography and she wants to use the time in Mumbai getting a look into the lives of the marginalized people including the exotic varieties such as the “Night Rat Killers” (didn’t know something like that existed out here – so much for being a Mumbaikar). 

Needless to say, Arun and Shai hit it off and land up in bed that very night.  Arun, however, is not really interested in anything long term.  Especially coz he is divorced around 2 years back and completely unprepared to get into another relationship.  Quite a bad morning after for sure.

When Arun moves to a new place, he finds 3 video cassettes left there by the previous tenant, Yasmin (Kriti Malhotra).  He tries to return them but is unable to find out any details.  Intrigued, he decides to watch the tapes to find out whats in them.  They turn out to be video letters that Yasmin planned to send to her brother about her stay in Mumbai.

Arun’s Dhobi, Munna aka Zoheb (Pratiek Babbar) is the common link between Arun and Shai. He wants to be an actor.  Shai is quite taken in by Munna in a manner of speaking and decides to take his help on her project.  Munna also, coincidentally helps her get to Arun’s new place.  The friendship between the two develops quite quickly and as time goes by, Munna develops feelings for Shai which are obviously one sided.

Dhobi Ghat tries to get to the fore the complexities of relationships that develop in this city between different kinds of people.  The hope that is existant in most people about the next day being better than the previous one.  The casting is quite good with Pratiek Babbar probably being the weakest of the lead 4.  But he does come across as extremely sincere and puts in a genuine effort. Aamir Khan being Aamir Khan is quite effortless in his portrayal of the eccentric Arun.  I suspect, it didn’t take quite an effort cause he was probably being himself.  The pleasant surprises were definitely Monica Dogra and Kriti Malhotra both of whom, I thought, were quite superb.  Both first time actors in main stream cinema.  Both essay their respective roles with high levels of confidence, unperturbed by the fact that there are other well known names.  Acting performances are what keeps Dhobi Ghat alive despite its slow pace.  The music by Gustavo Santaolalla & Anibel Kerpel is again well placed with good use of Indian Classical for effect.  However, the lead track had striking similarity to that of Krrish of all the movies (maybe a figment of my imagination or just the same raga). If you like the arty kind movies where the story is strong but the pace is really slow and it includes still shots which seem to last forever for no apparent reason, then Dhobi Ghat is just the way you would like to spend your evening.  The ridiculous “95 minute without interval” gimmick kept aside, it gives Kiran Rao a very strong start.  I liked it.  7 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1451268889/

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What you don't know about Mobile Number Portability (MNP)

With MNP all set to release country wide tomorrow, there are something which you need to know. There aren't much fineprints which would affect the user in the MNP race, but its better we know what we are talking about.

1. You can port your number only 3 times in your lifetime. I repeat, three times, and thats it! You are fixed back to your operator.
2. You have to have been atleast 90 days with an operator before you can port your number to the next operator.
3. Once you request for a change of operator, your current operator has 48 hours to make you stay back. If you refuse the offer, you will be shifted to the new operator after the 48 hours are over.
4. You can shift from CDMA to GSM, GSM to CDMA, CDMA to CDMA, and GSM to GSM. You cannot shift your broadband number yet.
5. The maximum an operator can charge for a transfer is Rs.19 + 10.3% service tax on it.You will still need to pay for the SIM card from the new operator.
6. A 2 hour "dead period" is usually possible when this transfer happens. Usually the transfer would be made between 10 PM and 5 AM to avoid much inconvenience.
7. All your previous dues, have to be cleared with your current operator or your request for transfer would be rejected.
8. You prepaid balance will not be carried over.
9. You need to provide all proofs (ID proof, adress proof) to your new operator also.
10. The plans of the new operator would only be effective from the time your number is switched to the new operator.
11. If your request for porting is rejected, your money will not be refunded
12. The is no MNP for landline numbers.

How to MNP:
1. Send SMS "PORT <mobile number>" to 1900
2. You will receive an Unique Porting Code (UPC)
3. Ask for a transfer form to your new operator, where you need to fill up the UPC. Remember, this code has an expiry time.
4. Take the SIM card for the new operator.
5. Based on the confirmation from your exitsing operator, the process would be initiated for switching to your new operator.
6. Once the transfer is made, your new operator SIM will be activated.

Do share your views about MNP. Happy Switching !

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PIAYA-A FILIPINO DESSERT / SNACK

This is an ode to my Filipino maid who is with me for 2 and half years. Its festive time for Christians with Christmas and New year  around the corner and here is a Filipino dessert to tingle your taste buds. The first glimpse of the Piaya actually makes you feel it is an Indian dish. Since it looks like a paratha (Stuffed bread) and the first bite gives you a nostalgic feeling as it tastes somewhat like the Puran Poli.

After the completion of 2 years with me, my domestic helper(maid) who helps me dish out these wonderful dishes went home to visit her family and came back with this sweet delicacy for us. Since we are strict vegetarians we were a bit skeptical, so she told me, ”Maam it is completely vegetarian”. I tried it and the taste was so much like puran poli that I decided to share this wonderful recipe

Piaya

PIAYA

This Filipino dish originated in the Negros province found in the middle of the country which is considered as the sugar capital of the Philippines. Other regions in Visayas also produce this sweet delicacy or snack.

Piaya (pronounce Peeyaya) is made up of a jam made from raw sugar (muscovado) which is brown in color and sandwiched inside a flat unleavened bread, sometimes sprinkled with sesame seed and finally grilled onto a pan.

Piaya is a dessert but can be also classified as a sweet snack.

The piaya has various variants, the most popular is the ube (purple yam) piaya. When you eat this, be sure to have a glass of water nearby. It’s very very sweet.Now, there are different flavors such as Ube (Purple Yam),(Please click on the link to know more about Ube), Mango and Chocolate.

Piaya Regular / Ube flavored

Ingredients

All purpose flour -2 cups

Oil – 8-10 tbsps.

Muscovado sugar - 1/2 cup (can alter as per taste)

Water – About 5-6 tbsps

Sesame seeds – 3 -4 tbsps (as per your liking)

Method

In a bowl, combine half of the flour and half of the oil; mix well.

Divide into 20 portions shape in balls. Set aside.

Add some water to the muscovado sugar to make it moist. Divide into 20 portions. Set aside.

Mix the remaining flour, oil and some water. Knead to a cylinder and divide into 20 portions.

Flatten each portion and top with the flour and oil mixture. Roll out and stuff with muscovado filling. Close the edges.

Sprinkle with sesame seeds.

Bake in a preheated oven in medium heat or grill until brown on the outside. 

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Siruthai Movie Review

When Telugu super-hit "Vikramarkudu" was intended to be made in Tamil little did the director understand that the tastes of two states are hugely different and making a frame by frame re-make isn't going to fetch good results. Director Siva who was in-charge of the Telugu version has wielded the megaphone for the Tamil version also but the problem is that the movie looks too alien for the Tamil audience.

Karthi who had enthralled the audience with his tremendous acting skills has for the first time acted in a dual role and with a screenplay that isn't too strong, it looks like he will have the first flop of his career.

Rocket Raja (Karthi) along with his side-kick Kaatupoochi (Santhanam) are good at looting things and they hardly leave anything behind at the crime scene. They both live in an abandoned cinema hall with all amenities possible. One fine day, when they decide to loot in a wedding party they come across the beautiful Swetha (Tamannah) and without any proper reason they both fall in love with each other.

Things take a normal route till now until fate plays a twister in Rocket Raja's life when he is entrusted the responsibility of taking care of a girl. Surprisingly the girl calls Rocket Raja as dad which is shocking for him and Kaatupoochi. This leads the viewers to the other story where Rathnavel Pandian (Karthi) DSP of police lands in a town at Andhra Pradesh where things are under the control of Don Babuji and his brother.

Things are so worse that they kidnap women from the house and treat them as sex slaves for Babuji's son. The men folk dare to question them as it would mean doomsday for their life. Rathnavel Pandian irritated by this sets on a mission to bring the criminals to book and when he is mid-way through his work, tragedy strikes and that leaves him hurt badly.

Destiny brings Rathnavel Pandian and Rocket Raja together and what happens thereafter and whether the villain is brought to book or not forms the rest of the film. The major flaw in the film is the location and the characterization of the villain. Looks like director Siva has wrongly understood the mindset of Tamil audience else what can be said to justify the selection of such locales that are hard to comprehend.

Karthi shines in the role of Rathnavel Pandian but is not up to the mark in the role of Rocket Raja. Santhanam talks non-stop on the guise of providing comedy while Tamannah is good at exposing her navel to the viewers.

Vidyasagar has made a mockery of the music while editing by V T Vijayan is way off the mark. The movie has a running time of 2hrs and 45 minutes and there are moments in the film where it looks like it will never get over.

"Siruthai" a bad re-make of a super-hit film.

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YAMLA PAGLA DEEWANA

Director           Samir Karnik

Cast                 Dharmendra, Sunny Deol, Bobby Deol, Kulraj Randhawa, Nafisa Ali, Anupam Kher, Mukul Dev, Sucheta Khanna, Himanshu Malik, Amit Mistry, Nikunj Pandey,

Year                2011

Genre              Comedy

This one was what I was really waiting for.  After the disaster of their first movie together titled “Apne”, the Deol family probably sat down together to have a serious discussion and decided that the next time they would come together would be for a comedy.  Either ways people were laughing at their first attempt.  Might as well get them to laugh at what is meant to be laughed at right? The rushes were quite reasonable and I was quite keen to catch up with the movie. So after a 12 hour sleep to recover from the jet lag of spending 32 hours @ either an airport or inside an aircraft and that too without any sleep, I opened skull, left brains in freezer and proceeded towards PVR Mulund to catch an afternoon show of a completely slapstick brainless comedy.  Needless to say, I wasn’t disappointed at all – I got what I had expected!!!!

Param Veer Singh Dhillon (Sunny Deol) is a family man to the core.  He is married to Mary (Emma Brown) and has 2 kids.  His mother, Manto (Nafisa Ali) also stays with them.  No points for guessing that they all live in Vancouver, Canedda (read Canada).  And if u are a sardar in Canedda, u cannot dream of having a Canadian accent.  After all, you are in your 2^nd home right? The entire family including the Canadian wife is uncorrupted and not influenced by anything Canadian.  Even the wife speaks in Punjabi – so what if it’s a little broken.  100% believable I say.  Now, Param has always wanted to go to India to visit his Des (read country - wonder why they all go to Canada if all they want to do is come back?).  But Mary will not have anything to do with these dreams.  He doesn’t trust India one bit.

The story goes that while Param was very young, his father, Dharam Singh Dhillon (Dharmendra) who is the only person in the world that google cannot locate, is a petty criminal back home and leaves Manto and Param at a very young age.  He doesn’t leave alone thought.  He carries his 2 month old son, Gajodhar (Bobby Deol – when he gets older that is) and continues his life of petty crime, relieving unsuspecting people of whatever is valuable.  One of the Dhillon families friends in Canedda comes home and blows a fuse when he sees Dharam Paaji’s photograph on the wall.  He has recently been duped by the father and son duo, in Benras (how many times have people been told not to travel alone to India!!!!!).  Now that he knows, Param has to go to Benares to get the two back to Canedda as promised to his mother isn’t it?

Yamla Pagla Deewana, lives upto to everything it promised in the trailers.  Corny dialogues such as “Tussi Bade Impotent ho ji” (You are very important) and “Aap Kaise Karte Ho Ji” (How do you do?) and most of all Jat Risky after Whiskey as the icing on the cake.  Not to mention the corny background music that plays from every Bobby Deol movie even though there is a fight sequence on.  After all, Jab Sunny fight kar raha ho toh Bobby romance hi karega na??? And then there are three brilliant fight sequences featuring Sunny Paaji’s Dhai Kilo ka Haath (2.5 kg fists), the first of which causes little or no damage to any surrounding furniture.  Just when u begin to think that things would be different, the next sequence shows a beer bar being single handedly crashed to pulp but guess who – Sunny Paaji.  Even Dharam Paaji decides to show his might in the climax sequence.  And I must also say that the three on screen together has some solid chemistry.  So much that they dance better than the girls in both the so called item numbers in the movie (if they can qualify to be called that). And did I mention Bobby’s love interest in the movie played by Kulraj Randhawa, who is a photographer from the Punjab and is making a coffee table book on Benaras and expects to do that with her camera always on full zoom and wearing a pair of really short shorts roaming the streets of Benares.  All believable hai ji.  Not to worry.  Samir Karnik’s direction continues on the lines of his previous debacles.  Some guys never learn.  Thanks to our trio, the movie will not flop.  Entertaining definitely but follow instructions about brain as mentioned earlier.  I give it 4 on 10.

And if you haven’t seen the trailer, here it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tY1wOMEDBc4&feature=fvsr

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F & O - Trading is not good for financial health

Puri effect: how money vanishes

There are people out there who made the money that Puri lost

Citibank’s rogue relationship manager apparently blew up most of the money he ‘diverted’ on the stock markets. Specifically, he seems to have been trading in Nifty derivatives. I almost wish that he had instead run off with the money and was sunning himself on a beach in the Caribbean, wearing a false beard with the money safely laundered into a Cayman Islands account. But alas, it was not to be. Like traders around the country, he found the lure of ‘effendo’ too strong.

Even though ‘effendo’ sounds like a magical spell from Harry Potter (like Confundo and Diffindo), it is not. It is the popular way of pronouncing F&O, otherwise known as futures and options!

But Effendo seems closely related to a Harry Potter spell called Evanesco which makes things vanish. Effendo can make money vanish as if by magic, as it did for Shivraj Puri and his victims.

Now I know the whole story about how derivatives provide depth and breadth to the stock markets, but for a vast majority of retail investors, they are none of that. Instead, as Warren Buffet pointed out, they are nothing but financial weapons of mass destruction.

According to the Gurgaon police, Puri purloined Rs 300 crore, leveraged it up to Rs 1,200 crore and then managed to shrink that down to Rs 175 crore when, in November, the Nifty refused to behave as he had expected it to.

The only thing unique about his story is the scale and the fact that he had stolen the money he was using. There is no shortage of people who are using their own money and losing most of it. The root cause is the widespread promotion of derivatives as a magical way of making money without risk.

The strange thing is that since short-term investing is effectively a zero-sum game, this is sort of true. There are people out there who made the money that Puri lost.

However, if you think there’s an easy, simple and risk-free way of doing that, you could well be on your way to be becoming your own Shivraj Puri!

 

Source: valueresearchonline.com

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Temples go Hi Fi

Temples and religious institutions across Maharashtra , Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh are among the latest to join the tech-savvy tribe, as they seek to automate and integrate complex processes by deploying sophisticated solutions like enterprise resource planning.

A growing number of devotees expecting quicker religious services and the pressure to become more transparent are key drivers for these temples to seek the help of business software solutions, used traditionally by large corporates like Bajaj Auto, ONGC and Maruti Suzuki.

“Temples have evolved into a service industry; expectations of devotees have increased,” says Kishor More, CEO of Shree Saibaba Sansthan Trust at Shirdi in Maharashtra. A data centre will come up inside the temple campus and first modules of the popular ERP software from SAP will go live later this month.

The shrine is the latest among places of worship that are moving to ERP solutions to manage donations and daily activities. The Tirupati temple at Tirumala, the Meenakshi Amman temple at Madurai, the Gajanan Maharaj Temple at Shegaon and the Mata Vaishno Devi temple at Katra are the other major ones to adopt technology.

“Temples are now like mini (municipal ) corporations,” More says. “Their activities have increased beyond darshan (sighting the deity), bhakta nivas (devotee stay) and prasad (sacred food). We have also launched hospitals and educational institutions. They have to be managed like any other organisation. There is no option but to use technology.” he said.

The shrine receives 40,000 daily visitors , who stay in the bhakta nivas, pay for the products and services, have meals and also offer donations. This translates into over a lakh transactions a day, increasing the need to have a technology solution. The trust contracted IT services major Cognizant for the Rs 25-crore ERP implementation, currently under way.

Patni Computer Systems completed the country’s first SAP ERP implementation at the Shri Sant Gajanan Maharaj Sansthan at Shegaon in Maharashtra. With operations spread over 10 sites, construction activity across 55 places and 10,000 transactions every day, the management had a tough time keeping track.

“We updated all transactions manually, which hampered productivity. It was impossible to manage records of over 1,000 vendors. Redundancy in work and duplication of requisition was common,” an official , who now maintains the IT and ERP systems at the Sansthan, said.

“After the ERP installation, all branches are linked. The management knows the amount of donations received and raw material used and instantly decides on the allocation of resources for each activity,” the official said.
After the ERP is implemented, it will allow devotees to book a darshan online, reserve rooms at the bhakta nivas, make a purchase for various items that will be handed over to them on their visit.

All activities at the Madurai Meenakshi Amman temple, for example, are recorded with IT help. The temple’s main festival , the Chithirai festival, can now be viewed online. Even the Meenakshi Amman Tirukalyanam — the festival of god’s marriage — has also been made online and has had 10,000 hits.

Not just that, e-darshan of every pooja is possible. Also, anyone can retrieve a specific pooja and see it online. There is a video streaming server at the temple, which can perform live poojas at any time. The Hindu Religious and Charitable Endowments Department, which manages temples across Tamil Nadu, wants to replicate this model in temples at Rameshwaram and Thiruthani. The temple also manages all it accounts with the help of an ERP solution. “We designed an ERP for the Madurai Meenakshi Amman temple. There is a huge funds flow on a day-to-day basis and we felt the need for an ERP for them,” says Winways Systems managing director R Sivarajah, the firm which provided the ERP for the temple. Meenakshi Amman is not Winways’ only client: they serve three more big temples and 20 small ones. “Providing IT and ERP for temples is a potential segment,” he says.

Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanam (TTD), the largest religious body in India, has decided to upgrade its IT systems to streamline the pilgrim ecosystem and called for request for proposal from system integrators . It has also appointed Ernst &Young as consultant to carry out a detailed study to assess the cost and fix the implementation.

“The plan is to start IT upgradation by April. We will finalise a vendor by March after getting the E&Y report. Though we have adopted technology a few years back, there are some glitches. Once the upgradation is over, we will be able to process pilgrim applications faster. Besides , we wanted to bring all our departments under one platform through ERP so that co-ordination is easy,’’ said an official of TTD.

He says right now the pilgrim application process is slow. “We also need to upgrade our hardware and network infrastructure and need to rectify our existing software applications ,’’ he said. As part of its technology adaptation efforts, it has already introduced unique platforms like e-seva , e-hundi and edarshan where pilgrims can book services online through its portal. All the security installations of TTD are manned by HCL Technologies while portals are configured and supported by TCS.

"With the upgradation of technology, we will be able to make use of biometric technology, where a pilgrim can get a unique ID to book services and cash transactions . We are working on introduction of pre-paid smart cards, which would provide payment gateways for all services at all counters,’’ said the official. TTD had established standard systems and procedures for discharging the various functions efficiently . But with the phenomenal growth in the number of pilgrims visiting Tirumala, there is a considerable pressure on all the systems , which are substantially based on manual operations. TTD maintains 12 temples and their sub-shrines , of which the major pilgrimage centre is one located on the seventh peak, Venkatachala of the Tirupati Hill. The temple gets 70,000 devotees a day and generous donations making it the richest in the country.

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Green Worms

Researchers in South America have studied the viability of using earthworms to process hazardous material containing high concentrations of heavy metal for the bioremediation of old industrial sites, landfill and other potentially hazardous areas.

They provide details of a possible approach in the International Journal of Global Environmental Issues this month, according to Inderscience Publishers. After pollinating insects, worms are probably the gardener's best friend and they have been encouraged to process garden waste and soil for generations.

The common earthworm, Eisenia fetida, could also become a useful tool in the processing and safe management of hazardous solid and liquid wastes with high metal content, according to chemist Lué Merú Marcó Parra of the Universidad Centro Occidental Lisandro Alvarado in Cabudare, Venezuela, and colleagues there and in Argentina.

The team has carried out two feasibility studies on the use of worms in treating waste. The team first used compost produced by worms, vermicompost, as a successful adsorbent substrate for remediation of wastewater contaminated with the metals nickel, chromium, vanadium and lead.

The second used earthworms directly for remediation of arsenic and mercury present in landfill soils and demonstrated an efficiency of 42 to 72% in approximately two weeks for arsenic removal and 7.5 to 30.2% for mercury removal in the same time period.

Earthworms could offer an inexpensive and effective bioremediation alternative to complex and costly industrial cleanup methods, the team suggests.

Given that the accumulation of solid wastes in landfills causes high risk for soils, underground and surface water contamination, so an effective remediation method is increasingly important as toxic metals in a wide range of waste products from obsolete computers to portable electronic devices are discarded in landfill.

Source: India Syndicate

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Morning Glory

Morning Glory

Director           Roger Michel

Cast                 Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Diane Keaton, Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum, John Pankow

Year                2011

Genre              RomCom

Becky Fuller (Rachel McAdams) is a hard working woman.  Hard working to the extent that she always talks about work even on dates.  She is not a workaholic.  Just a little too involved with work.  So it is not surprising that after a couple of dates at best, the future prospect loses her phone number. It is therefore also no surprise that her favourite activity seems to be banging her head against the wall out of frustration – not just related to her personal life but also to her work life which is not the easiest in the world.  She is the Producer of an early morning show based out of New Jersey and her work begins at 1:30 am for a show that is slotted between 6 and 8 in the morning.  All seems to be going well and the rumour is rife that she is going to be promoted to Executive Producer for the show.  Therefore when HR calls her to discuss something she is all thrilled and dressed up in a red T shirt with the words “I Accept” she goes upstairs in anticipation – only to be slapped square across the face with the words, “I have to let you go”.  Becky is not just taken aback but shocked out of her wits.  But the enthusiasm in her doesn’t allow her to take this as a set back and she quickly dives into the process of searching for a new job in her own desperate comical manner. 

Her efforts finally get her an audience with Jerry Barnes (Jeff Goldblum) from another TV station called IBS, based in New York. She promptly gets to the interview and tries her best to convince Barnes that she can make a huge difference to “Day Break”- the daily morning programme which is terribly low on rankings and is anything but entertaining.  But her desperation for the role doesn’t seem sufficient to get her a job.  Her endearing enthusiasm, however does the trick and Barnes takes a huge risk by offering her the role of Executive Producer for the show at a much lower salary that she was drawing before.  After a bit of struggle, Becky makes her intentions quite clear about shaking up the system when she fire the co-host of the programme who is a sexist pig to say the least.  An act that goes well with the team but puts a challenge for Becky who now has to find a new co-host to Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton).  A few debates later she zeroes in on taking the risk with the legendary Mike Pommery (Harrison Ford) who is on a 2 year contract with IBS but currently out of a slot and is bound by contract with IBS to do what is required.

Morning Glory is a hugely predictable RomCom but is entertaining nevertheless. I am quickly beginning to believe that Rachel McAdams has a lot of talent and is definitely waiting for her really big break that will get her a shot to ultimate glory in Hollywood.  Its been nearly 10 years that she started acting and hopefully she will make it big sooner than later.  The bit of overacting that she has done in her role of Becky Fuller makes it even more, for lack of any other word, cute. Diane Keaton is fabulous as ever and so is Harrison Ford in his portrayal of the crabby, high on self respect, out of work legendary journalist.  Roger Michel continues with the compact narration that he has displayed in previous attempts at direction with Notting Hill and Changing Lanes to name a couple.  There are times when he just about goes off track but is quick to correct himself and ensure that there there is not much damage done.  As mentioned earlier, Morning Glory turns out to be an entertaining Chick Flick or RomCom or whatever else you may want to call it.  I give it a 6 on 10.  Worth a watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon.  You will not feel crappy when you walk out of the movie.

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No One Killed Jessica

Director           Raj Kumar Gupta

Cast                 Vidya Balan, Rani Mukerji, Shireesh Sharma, Mohammed Zeeshan Ayub, Myra, Neil Bhoopalam, Yogendra Tikku, Geeta Sudan, Samara Chopra, Bubbles Sabharwal, Rajesh Sharma

Year                2011

Genre              Drama

No one needs to be told what happened in the Jessica Lall case.  Enough and more has been said about the case and written about it and there would be hardly a soul in this country who is not familiar with what happened in the case. Plus with the advent of the net, there are going to be enough and more hits on the likes of Wikipedia to try and understand the gorier details of the case.  There will be a little more talk about it over drinks at the local bar or over a cup of coffee.  Unfortunately this is exactly what would work against the makers of No One Killed Jessica (NOKJ) and more so for director Raj Kumar Gupta.

The challenge in taking up a controversial topic like the Jessica Lall murder is primarily the extent to which you can actually show the truth on screen.  More importantly, if there is an attempt being made to portray as close to reality as possible then how does a director ensure that the freedom of expression at no point of time is superceded by the attempt to be politically correct. NOKJ finds itself caught in exactly this labyrinth and and the end of the day you find a product that is a mish mash of sticking to the disclaimer and trying to get the whole truth and nothing but the truth out.  If you walk into NOKJ with the expectation of something similar to a Black Friday, you would be making the same mistake that I did and land up being quite disappointed.  Why could the makers not have stuck to the facts of case? Isn’t it contradictory to the very purpose of making the movie in the first place.  The least that could have been done is stick the names.  If it is OK to call out Jessica Lall and Sabrina Lall then why is not OK to call out Manu Sharma, Venod Sharma or for that matter Sayan Munshi, Bina Ramani and Malini Ramani.

Adding to the above, there is one inconsistency too many for it to be called a decent attempt.  Surprising considering that Raj Kumar Gupta has given us a very good movie like Aamir, a little over 2 years back which was made quite well to say the least.  I mean, how can you have the same TV programme in one shot that shows 3 different times – 6:24, 9:33 and 10:30 (don’t hold me to the exact times here).  And all of this is within a couple of seconds of each other.  And not just that.  The sequences of June Lall screaming “Where is my baby” or Rani Mukerji saying “Gaand Phat Ke Haath Mein Aa Jaati” are anything but convincing.  The over acting defeats the basic essence of a scene which could have been so much more poignant.  And then there is shit loads of stuff which were totally unnecessary.  What is being conveyed through a scene of a pick pocket taking off with a cameraman’s wallet or some random pedestrians mobile phone? What is the purpose of showing the Victoria memorial or the Kolkata trams? Or for that matter Vidya Balan taking a shower with her spectacles on? And I have pretty much scratched only the tip of the iceberg here.

But not all is bad.  Rajesh Sharma’s (Munjal from Khosla Ka Ghosla) performance as the lead inspector in charge of the case and the frustrations that he faces is impressive.  And so is the performance from Yogendra Tikku in the role of Sanjit Lall, Jessica’s father. Amit Trivedi’s music is fabulous as always.  The titling and the starting line, “”Everybody is a “somebody” in Delhi.  Nobody is a Nobody” give the movie a good start. There is also a beautiful shot of the mobile ringing in the middle of the night intermittently lighting up Vidya Balan’s face.  Not Vidya Balan’s best performance to date.  Last year she started with a bang with Ishqiya.  Not to be the same this year unfortunately.  I do believe however that she is a fabulous actress.  Wonder why she could not come up with the best this time.  Rani Mukerji is disappointing with her excessive attempts to play the bitchy news caster, Meera Gaity.  Someone please teach her how to smoke on screen.  A below par result from a movie that I personally expected a lot from.  5 on 10 at best is my verdict.

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